Epic Battle in the Bathroom!

Yesterday morning I woke up, laid in bed for a few minutes contemplating rolling over to go back to sleep or actually getting up to start the day.  Getting up won and I stumbled into the bathroom, turned on the light and saw two long feelers sticking out of my drain hole.  

It was going to be my first battle with a roach in my apartment since I moved in.

Roaches aren't uncommon in my apartment; it's an old building with lots of trees.  The apartment is sprayed once a week but roaches are ridiculous to kill and I learned that first hand.

I turned on the water and tried to drown him and send him on his merry way down the drain. He apparently took swim lessons when he was younger, resisted the water-boarding and climbed out of the drain. 

Excuse my language...but shit! He was now scurrying around my vanity, on my towels, across my mirror and eventually he stopped to rest on my soap dispenser.

After photographing him, I viciously used a wash cloth to swat him down to the floor, injuring him in the process.  I know this because there were roach guts across my counter top.

Then, wielding the wash cloth in one hand and a plunger in the other, the roach and I began an epic battle across walls, floor and cabinets of my bathroom until I finally trapped him under the plunger.  I couldn't kill him while he was under the plunger because you can't squash the plunger flat; I tried but he would just sit in the air pocket.

I needed a shower after that. And some time to come up with a strategy for killing him. Maybe just some time for the adrenaline to go away.

I couldn't come up with anything better than using the plunger to beat him to death. But that meant letting him out and then relying on my aim with the plunger to repeatedly hit him.  

It was not very graceful, and it was definitely full of profanities, but I finally squashed his quick disgusting little butt.  Then, using the plunger to scoop him up into some toilet paper, he 'went swimming with the sewage fishes.' 

I cleaned my entire bathroom after that. It's sparkling.

The end.